My new dancing parter...Mr. Hugh Hefner

There are some creepy people in this world. Correction: there are some extremely creepy people in this world.

We sometimes have the unfortunate experience of having to come into contact with some of these disturbing and stalkerish characters, but boy, they sure do make one hell of a story; sometimes, they're the best stories life can throw your way.

This is the story about my encounter with Hugh Hefner's twin. This is the disturbing 80 year-old man who asked me to dance.

Now, I guess I must take some responsibility for putting myself in such a weird environment to begin with, one where I was bound to meet someone as creepy as him. I mean, no one goes to a cowboy karaoke bar expecting to meet a debonair prince charming, and there's definitely no Clint Eastwood's lurking around there. But, I didn't expect to meet Hugh Hefner either.

Now, I must inform you that I did not meet Hugh Hefner himself (although I may have accepted his invite to dance, solely for bragging rights and nothing more), nor did I meet his blood-related brother. BUT, I did meet his creepy identical no-named twin who did ask a 21 year-old to dance in a bar, with Viagra on his mind and his hips ready to swing.

Creepy? Check. Awkward? Check. Disturbing? Check. Disgusting? Check.

Let's just say this: there are some people, in certain situations and in certain environments, that I would rather say I never met.

By the way, for all you Hugh Hefners out there--please, PLEASE don't assume a bunch of young girls are willing to dance with you because you grab their waist and they are much too creeped out to push you off. I mean, if they push a little too hard they might break your hip. Save your perverted mind for someone your own age.

Oh the joys of meeting an interesting stranger.

<3

The Stranger you thought you knew

Throughout your life, you undoubtedly become closer to people. You get to know a person; you discover their mannerisms, you accept their flaws, you see their heart and you see their soul...

But sometimes, you can never really know a person. You see, even a close friend can be a perfect stranger.

This is the story about the person I thought I knew. Well, I guess this isn't really a story, but rather the breathings of a broken heart.

You see, it's always a sad day when you realize you've lost a friend. It's always a sad day when you realize that the person you thought you knew is actually someone completely different.

You see their heart--but you realize it's only a mask. You see their soul--but you realize it's a facade. You see their flaws--but you underestimate their power. You see a person--but you realize they're not really the person you saw all this time.

And that my friends, is how a stranger can break your very heart.

Alas, the heartbreak of meeting a perfect stranger.

The Facebook Girl

Facebook creeping. We've all done it, and we'll continue to do it as long as Facebook maintains its reign as the social network king.

Mark Zuckerberg is a pretty smart guy, you know, dropping out of an ivy league college and all. He knows that when he adds profiles of people you might now in your News Feed, there's a likely chance you'll click on their profile and add them too. Each new friend you add allows the social network to grow and eventually puts money back in the bank for Zucker-buck.

But when Facebook grants power to us normal folk, we can't help but use this power to our full creepy potential. That's why we end up scrolling through pictures of these alleged mutual friends that are actually a complete strangers. Hence, the name Facebook creeper we give to ourselves.

Now, if you're silently muttering to yourself that you've never done this--you're in denial. If you don't have a Facebook, well, you're just living under a rock. And if you're thinking "wow, I do that WAY too much," then you frighten me. Facebook creeping is okay, it's a natural part of being a social networker. But being a perverted creeper on Facebook that stalks anyone and everyone because you have no real friends is taking it way too far.

Anyways, this is the story of that one Facebook girl I finally met.

But the funniest part of this story is my ignorant assurance that I would never actually meet this girl, even though she consistently pops into my Facebook News Feed because we have "mutual friends." Silly me.

Where did I meet her you ask? Oh, you know...at church. Yes, I met the girl with the summer bikini profile picture she keeps up until January right after mass. Very appropriate.

So, where's the lesson in all of this? Be careful who you Facebook creep. You might actually end up meeting them one day, and if you're like me...the only thing you'll be able to think about upon meeting them is their awkward statuses and their self-obsessed profile picture you creeped on one day.

Alas, the joys of meeting a perfect stranger.

<3